Become a Better Version of Yourself With ‘You Can Win’ by Shiv Khera

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You Can Win
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We live our day-to-day life without giving much importance to self-development. One of the reasons being we do not have any clue on how to improve ourselves or we don’t want to.

This book suggests some techniques and strategies which can help you to do the same and become a better version of yourself.

Most of our actions and behaviors are governed by our subconscious minds. Our good and bad habits can be changed by reprogramming our subconscious minds. The book YOU CAN WIN provides an illustrative way in which we can reprogram our subconscious mind and change our bad habits.

The book YOU CAN WIN is divided into eight chapters:

  1. Importance of attitude.
  2. Success
  3. Motivation
  4. Self-esteem
  5. Interpersonal skills
  6. Subconscious mind and habits
  7. Goal setting
  8. Values and vision

Importance of attitude:

Our attitude governs the way we live our life. A positive attitude can help us in every aspect of our life whereas a negative attitude is a perfect recipe of disaster.

The benefits of a positive attitude can include:

  • Increase in productivity.
  • Lower stress
  • Better relationships with people
  • A pleasing personality
  • Steps to build a positive attitude-

It is possible to build a positive attitude at any phase of our life. We are not supposed to live the way we are. The human mind is capable of unbelievable changes we just have to work towards it with a belief that it is possible.

To build a positive attitude and maintain it we need to practice the following steps:

  • Change focus, look for the positive- as humans we tend to focus on what’s wrong in every situation we try our best to find the negatives but what are we try to find the positive. What if we try to get the best out of every worst situation?

Instead of focusing on the bad characteristics of people won’t it be much better if we focus on the good characteristics of people? It won’t change others, but it will make our life a better place to live.

  • Make a habit of doing it now –   We tend to delay our work for a later time. Although it makes us feel good for the time being but in the long run, we end up feeling worse. It’s better to get a job done now instead of procrastinating.
  • Develop an attitude of gratitude: Developing an attitude of gratitude is necessary for us to win in our lives.  Our greed for the better is a never-ending cycle. but in this journey of getting better things, we tend to appreciate what we have.

 We always compare ourselves to others and focus on what we don’t have.

 This feeling can motivate us, but it also makes us prone to hatred. If you look at your life, I am sure you can find many things to be grateful for. Start appreciating them, but at the same time don’t be complacent.

  • Build positive self-esteem:

Self-esteem is the way we feel about ourselves. When we feel good about ourselves our work reflects it, our productivity goes up and relationships become better.

One of the fastest ways to build self-esteem is to do something for others that they cannot repay in terms of cash or wealth. Help others without any ulterior motive purely for selfless reasons.

  • Stay away from negative influences:

 Just like a Rotten mango will affect the other mangoes in the crate. In a similar manner if you are surrounded by negative people, you will become one of them.

  • Learn to like things that need to be done:

 Some things need to be done whether you like it or not and many times even if you like it, you won’t find yourself in the mood to do that thing. At that time, you have to force yourself to do those things with full intent.

  • Start your day with something positive:

Start your day by reading something positive. it will help you to stay positive during the whole day.

Success:

 Success is not something that comes by chance. It is something that is achieved by hard work and a lot of patience. Success is not a mystery but simply the result of applying the same principles on a day-to-day basis. Failure on the other hand is making the same mistakes consistently on a day-to-day basis.

Success is a very subjective term. The definition of success varies for everyone. For someone, success can mean becoming wealthy whereas for the other person success can mean climbing Mount Everest.  We must have our definition for success to achieve it. If you do not define your success, it becomes difficult or nearly impossible to achieve it. You cannot hit a goal that you cannot see.

To be successful you must go through failures and accept the fact that it is a part of the whole journey of becoming successful.

Qualities that make a successful person:

  • Desire
  • Commitment
  • Responsibility
  • Hard work
  • Character
  • Positive Believing
  • Give more than you get.
  • The power of persistence
  • Pride of performance
  • Be willing to be a student.

Luck seems to favor those who help themselves. Whatever situation you are in there is always a way to get out of it you just must look for it and start walking towards it.

Motivation

Motivation is what helps us to start doing something. We know what our goal is and we know how to achieve it but we still find ourselves incapable to take action towards achieving our goals. In this case, we are missing the spark that is motivation.

Motivation can help us get started, but it is not something that will help us continue doing that particular action. Motivation is just not enough for us to achieve our goals because as time passes our levels of motivation go down.

Steps to stay motivated throughout our journey:

  1. Develop a sense of pride through training.
  2. Reward performance
  3. Set well defined clear goals.
  4. Set high expectations.
  5. Set clear measurable benchmarks.
  6. Evaluate the needs of others.
  7. Make others a part of your journey. As the quote says, “if you want to go fast go alone but if you want to go for have someone with you.”

Self-esteem

Self-esteem in simple words means the way we feel about ourselves and the way we talk to ourselves. Self-esteem plays an important role in our life.

 At the end of the day, life is not about how much money we make for how many fancy cars do we own, or where will live. It’s about how happy we are with what we have and how happy we are with the people with whom we live.

Some characteristics of people with high self-esteem include:

  1. Talk about ideas.
  2. Caring attitude
  3. Humility
  4. Respect’s authority
  5. Assertive
  6. Accept responsibility.
  7. Willing to learn.
  8. Guided
  9. believe in self-worth.

You must understand your strengths and weaknesses and start working on your weaknesses. Your weakness can be your greatest strength if you work diligently on improving yourself.

Interpersonal skills

People’s knowledge is more important than product knowledge. A pleasing personality proves to be helpful not only in business but also in life. Having a pleasing personality is not something which you are born with. Similar to other skills you can learn it and build a pleasing personality.

You should learn to have an open mind instead of an empty mind. An open mind accepts something after evaluation whereas an empty mind accepts without evaluating. An empty mind serves as a dumping ground for the good and the bad.

Steps to build a positive personality:

  • Accept responsibility:  When you are responsible for something you give yourself a chance to grow. Being responsible not only means taking credit when everything goes right, but it also means facing the situation head-on if it goes wrong.
  • Consideration: Be considerate towards other people and try to understand their feelings and emotions.
  • Think to win/win: It is very easy to put yourself in situations where you come out a winner. But it is difficult to create a situation or an environment where everyone wins.

 Try to make the best of every situation by helping others to win as well. It will make this world a better place to live.

  • Choose your words carefully: Excessive talking does not mean communication. Talk less; say more. It is very easy to hurt someone with words even when you do not intend to do so. It is necessary to think before you speak.
  • Be a good listener: Don’t just hear people talk but listen to them. It takes effort and patience to be a good listener, but when you do listen people understand it. It helps to strengthen bonds.
  • Give honest and sincere Appreciation: The psychologist William James said, “One of the deepest desires of human beings is the desire to be appreciated. The feeling of being unwanted is hurtful”.

Appreciation, to be effective, must meet certain criteria:

  • It must be specific.
  • It must be immediate.
  • It must be sincere.
  • Don’t qualify praise with a but.

Subconscious mind and habit

Our subconscious mind governs most of our actions. Without our subconscious minds, we would never be able to automate a skill. Automating a skill is the process that happens when a certain activity is repeated multiple times over a course of time.

This is the reason when we first learn any new skill, it seems very difficult. But with continuous practice, the same skill becomes our second nature.

It all comes down to what habits do we have. Just like we form bad habits we can form good habits.

Habit is anything that we repeatedly perform. Be it a good or a bad habit it does not matter to our brain, we learn it and it becomes our second nature.

We are conditioned to behave in the way we do. If we have to consciously think about doing the right thing every time, it will become a painful process so we must convert that particular behavior into a habit.

Also Read: Conscious vs Subconscious Mind

  • The GIGO principle –

GIGO (Garbage in, Garbage out) principle states that our subconscious mind does not discriminate between good or bad information. It treats information the way it is. Once you start feeding your mind with negative information, you start behaving negatively.

It is a simple rule wherein you get what you put in. Our conscious mind can think. It can reject or accept information. But it is not the same case with our subconscious mind. It accepts information the way it is.

Goal setting

Knowledge and consistent work can help you to reach your destination provided you know what the destination is.

 Goals are important in our lives because they give a sense of purpose to our life. Without purpose, our lives become meaningless, and we also fall prey to all sorts of modern addictions.

But goal setting can also be a daunting task, which if not done properly can leave you with nothing in your hands.

According to the book YOU CAN WIN your goals must be SMART:

S – Specific

M – Measurable

A – Achievable

R – Realistic

T – Time-bound

  • A goal that is not specific is not a goal it is just something you wish for, so you will not put much effort into it.
  • Your goal must be measurable to keep track of your progress.
  • Achievable goals are the ones that are logical and are possible to achieve
  • Realistic goals are practical goals that are not just made under influence of an adrenaline rush.
  • There has to be a deadline for your goal. This creates a sense of urgency and pushes you to take action, toward achieving your goals.

This book gives you a detailed explanation of goal setting which will help you to redefine your life.

The book YOU CAN WIN will prove to be helpful if you are looking to create drastic changes in your life, by taking massive action. Many times, we find ourselves lost without any purpose and clueless in terms of what to do next.

In that case, this book can help you to clear your mind and achieve things you thought were out of your limits.

In a way, this book serves as an instruction manual that will make you believe that YOU CAN WIN!

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